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The 7 deadly sins of Self-doubt: No 3

About The Author

I’am Lillian Ogbogoh a Sensuality Discovery Specialist I work with amazing women who are single, celibate and unhappy with it to turbo charge their magnetism to attract and keep the man they desire. By reconnecting them to their deeply powerful and sensuous sides without shame, baggages and false information on their road owning their empowered sex life.

Invisible you

Did you ever hear the story of the woman who hid in plain sight? There is a league of women who are virtually invisible to themselves and the rest of the world. Does this sound familiar?

  • She is the one who goes to a party and walks in apologetically, then slinks off to the nearest corner for safety
  • She makes a big show about being out, but is virtually invisible
  • She is the one who refuses to be seen at work, even when someone else takes credit for her ideas and uses the mantra of “There is no I in team” to cover up how she is feeling
  • She is the one at work who never speaks up at meetings when she disagrees with her colleagues, as she wont want to rock the boat
  • She is resentful and passive aggressive in how she deals with her colleagues but she never shows it
  • She has become very skilled at projecting these various versions of who she thinks people want to see, like Houdini conjuring up the smoke and mirror illusions.
  • She is absolutely terrified to show people who she really is, and as she continues to project these fake versions- her real self slowly begins to vanish from view, even from herself

self doubt

Daily, her life is one constant juggling match as she tries to stay on top of the various shades of who she is, while failing miserably and left chronically exhausted. The invisible woman is the one hiding behind being too busy and overworked to be fully present in her own life. Her deepest, darkest fear is being seen, really seen by others. She believes that, if they see her, she will be rejected by the people she loves the most or they will see her for the faker or fraud that she sees herself as. They might even spot the’ not enoughness’ baggage that she is hauling around.

The fear of being invisible

This kind of fear keeps you invisible, not just in the office arena but in your home life; your relationships can be described as erratic at best or virtually none existent. You choose relationships that do not serve or honor you as you constantly repeat old cycles of dating emotionally and sometimes physically unavailable men—the players may change but the drama stays the same. In fact, you are the poster child for long distance relationships and going back to that ex for just one more try.

The downside of being invisible

You are left exhausted, tired and joyless; in fact, you find yourself slowly becoming pleasure deficient when you show up as invisible. You are spending all your time trying to hide and vanish; you are not giving yourself the room and permission to have fun, even if you found yourself in the middle of a three ring circus where you could make anything and everything happen! The invisible you will pull back into the shadows, away from the light and all that is fun.

Are you ready to step into the light and step out from behind the mask?

Then rectify this sin of self-doubt and say, “This is me!” I know it sounds way too easy but it is the truth. To give up invisibility, you have to step out from the smoke and mirrors and face you, being naked and vulnerable, allowing yourself to be in love and celebrate your whole you. This will give you the strength and courage to introduce your whole self to the world, with great flourish and pride.

Spend some time getting to know the real YOU!

Who you are? What do you desire and need? Uncover what you no longer need in your world and set time aside for just this- to explore your wants and desires; write them down, immerse yourself in your ‘you’ discovery journey as you slowly let each shade of you out, until your authentic self shines through.

 

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4 comments

  1. Great article thank you! It is the hardest part isn’t? Spending some time to get to know yourself!

  2. I think this is a common issue, the desire to be loved vs the fear of rejection or ridicule.

    We are what we are and should stand up and share what we are.

  3. I used to feel as though I was wearing an invisible cloak. Self awareness was indeed the way to remove it. Sometimes I still wear it, but now it is by choice. It is a very uncomfortable feeling to feel invisible and worth stepping away from if we can. One step at a time towards shining, it can be done. Thank you for showing others that they are not alone.

  4. Great reading Lillian, but the truth is it is not just women who suffer in this area, men do as well but try toi hide it differently usually in a more aggressive manner

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