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Qi Gong

The first love affair…

About The Author

I’m Andrea Wisden- founder of Holistic Bloggers and Soul Path Awakening and I believe that meditation is such a wonderful, free tool we can all enjoy. There’s so much more to learn and I’ve only just scratched the surface.


In the beginning

I bet we can all remember our first love affair. That initial rush of excitement, that time when our beloved could do no wrong. And yet sooner or later that excitement fades to be replaced by something more manageable if we’re lucky. If not, those habits we once found endearing become too irritating and we part company. I couldn’t understand why I kept getting to the stage where the endearing habits became irritating insurmountable mountains and yet another relationship bit the dust.

What we need to discover

It wasn’t until I started meditating and learning to love myself that I realised I had it all wrong. How on earth could I expect anyone to love me if I didn’t? I didn’t realise I had this inner dialogue going on, constantly putting me down, criticising my appearance, my behaviour, and actually expecting my relationships to fail. I didn’t even want to be with me, but I had no escape! The only answer was to change. Slowly I changed what I was saying about myself. Every time I caught myself saying I’m too fat, too thick, whatever the put down was, it either remained unsaid, or I changed it to something more loving.

What words we use are the first indicators of what we’re really thinking. Most of the time we don’t even know what we think of ourselves. When you first stop to listen to your thoughts, as in meditation, it can be quite shocking. Luckily it’s really easy to change. You just set your mind to it. You literally just decide to be kind and loving to yourself. Would you be that nasty to anyone else? I hope not, and expect not.

The most important love affair you will ever have

The quality of the relationship you have with yourself dictates what sort of experience you have while you’re here. The more loving and forgiving you are towards yourself, the more other people begin to treat you in the same way. It’s almost magical the way it unfolds.

So whatever your relationship status is at the moment, start a love affair with yourself. Fall in love with your fabulous self and say every day how awesome you really are. Celebrate all those things you love about you, and watch them multiply. It won’t take long before everyone else is treating you the same way. Bring some love magic in to your life today. Remember, it starts with you!

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6 comments

  1. Rochelle Gordon

    I used to say that I was not relationship material and gave up on them for a while until I learned that it was what I was feeling and saying about myself that was gumming up the works. This article is right on!

    • Our thoughts are more powerful than we realise and we all need to tell ourselves how awesome we are and believe it, because it’s our divine right and power to create the world we want to be in 🙂

    • Thanks Rochelle! You are so right, we often don’t realise what negative self talk we’ve got going on, and how that’s stopping us getting what we really want. Bring on the love!

  2. Great article and I so agree. The love affair with self is of utmost
    importance before we can even expect to have a wonderful love affair
    with someone else. A relationship that is healthy and whole; and if
    that is the kind of relationship we want then yes we have to have that
    love of self first. People think its so cliche but its true.

    • Thanks Yvonne, I’m glad you enjoyed it. It’s certainly changed my life almost beyond recognition once I started to really love myself, warts and all.

  3. Andrea Wisden such a great message, we need to be reminded that all relationship’s we have starts with us…….. We cannot expect to be loved if we do not honor and love ourselves no one can do that job for us…

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